Love Pain And Tears<--->When Is It Going To End?

Just Like A Lil Online Diary.

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Well I don't even know where to start........Put it this way, I had the best boyfriend 2 and a half years ago and now he is a self absorbed a**h*le. We talked about having a baby about a year and a half after we started going out (considering I already have one from a previous relationship)the thought didn't bother him any. Infact it was him that wanted to get pregnant to begin with. Well needless to say now I am pregnant and he is the biggest ahole I have ever seen. When I was about 3-4 months pregnant he pushed me around without even thinking twice. Now at 8 and a half months pregnant he is out drinking at the bar when he is to be at work, he told me that he really wouldn't care if we were to break up and he said that we should live together for the kid's but he should have a girlfriend and I should have a boyfriend. When I was 3 months pregnant he was also on the computer looking for another relationship. So why am I still here you ask? Because I love who he was and I don't want to believe this is who he really is. I have never felt like such a useless dirt. He always made me feel loved the first year and a half of this, everyday he told me how pretty and smart I was, now all I pretty much hear is that I am a dumb b****. Today was mother's day and out of all the time we have been together he has always got me something, this year I got nothing not even a card......I took everyone out for DQ and I had to pay cause he told me he had no money, then we went to shoppers drug mart and he bought himself a fifteen dollar cooler. Nice of him to treat himself for mother's day. Then on the way back we told Che that we would take her to the park, and of course I was a lil upset like what mother wouldn't be? And he said to me what the hell is your problem? And then he said I'm not taking Cheyl to the park, and I said yes you are you told her that you would and the I said why because there ain't nothing in it for you you won't take her? Then he said fine I'll take her but you can go home and F***ing stay there. OK well I gotta go for now I can't handle to write about this anymore.